Awake My Soul

This is really short. I just wanted to say that I love the song: Is it Too Late to Apologize by The Oh Wells. Also, the song really talking about me right now is that song and My Heart Has a History by Paul Brandt.
Look at this link: http://ahymeerovs.tumblr.com/post/5986812876 Totally true.


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Thinking About Things . . .

Hey Guys,

I am going to apologize in advance for a sort of depressing post coming up. 

My post yesterday was to do with Mandy going missing and today I'm thinking that maybe she had the right idea. Why can't we just run away / get taken when life gets hard or parents suck? Speaking of which, I am so tempted to pack a bag and just beat it. I don't know where I would go, but seriously who cares? When you are all alone it doesn't matter about where you go, just what you do and who your with. In this case it would be no one. Which would be a bonus.

Have you ever just wanted to disappear and see who really gives a shit? I do . . . but I would never be able to do it because I would have to leave my friends. Usually I would include my family in that scenario, but since my family kind of sucks at the moment, any place would be better than here.

I don't know if many of you have ever thought about / almost / attempted suicide. I know that I have. I have come so close to actually following through with it, but it's weird how at the point when your life would end, you all of a sudden feel more peaceful and realize how worthwhile life is. Not everyone thinks this, obviously, or else they wouldn't have committed suicide.

Other times, I wish that I had cancer. Then I could really see who cared about me and who just pretends to care about me just for the show. Although, if I had cancer it would be difficult to see who cared, because it would seem "right" to care for me.

One thing I REALLY do not like is when you have been out all day, and when you come home you are in trouble for something totally random. 

Current Quote: "Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." - Henry Van Dyke

Current Song: What the Hell by Avril Lavigne

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The Stand

Hello Everyone,

I would like to start this post off with a link http://www.globalnews.ca/Langley+teen+missing+since+Saturday/4939560/story.html. I believe so whole-heartedly in the power of prayer, so could everyone reading this please pray for her and her family? Please pray that she will be found and return safely to her family and friends. I wasn't the best of friends with Mandy, but the times we have spoken I have found her to be a truly special person from the inside out. Please everyone, pray that God can lead her home and lead the RCMP to her current location.

I don't know how many of you know someone that has gone missing, but honestly it is such a shock to me that it feels like I am inside of a novel or a movie because it has never happened to me. This is just one of the many times that I wish I had a magical wand to save the world and for justice to be served. I feel so helpless sitting here at my house while Mandy is out there somewhere . . . God please help her and protect her while giving the police wisdom and insight into what has happened.

If I were to hate one thing in the world, it would be seeing my loved ones hurting. And that is exactly what happened today at school. I do not enjoy feeling helpless, but I believe that God can help her and provide the police with information and He will. Deo volente.

Current Quote: "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track." Proverbs 3:5-6 MSG

Current Song: Here In My Heart by Jimmy Rankin

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Hey Stranger

Hello everyone!

I am awfully sorry that I have been lazy and haven't updated you on my life! Probably because I live a VERY boring life, nothing compared to other people.

I am still in that numb phase. There are days that I can . . . push it aside and ignore it, but most of the time I just feel so "blah."

I do NOT like Nick anymore, I haven't liked him since November, I think. Before spring break I had a crush on a different guy (started a week or so after I finished my "thing" for Nick). His name is Kyle. Again, I hardly know him, but he is a different guy all together; he doesn't party (to my knowledge), he has an amazing brother (I think that they are similar), and he isn't afraid to talk to people if they talk to him. He won't judge you if you are younger. Oh, he's in the twelfth grade as well. Wow, I am so lame. I have a lot of variety in my life, don't I?

Oh! One of my best friends, Alex, left for Africa on March 6th and I got my second e mail from her since her departure today! (First e mail was from London). I miss her so much and I canNOT wait until she gets back so that I can hear all of her wonderful stories. That girl is so wise, and God-filled. It is very inspiring. <3

I don't know what else to say because this is one of those times where I have to censor my thoughts or else people could be offended by a mis-type. WOW! Technology these days, eh? (I am Canadian, don't judge.)

Current Quote: "Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory." - J. Donald Walters

Current Song: I Don't Care by Fall Out Boy

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