Just to Get High

Hey.
Have you ever felt so . . . numb that everything you do, you can't muster up the energy to at least pretend to be happy? Well that is how I am feeling as of now. I don't even know why; actually I do know why, but it's really stupid.

Today at school, I was wandering around in the halls with Hendrika, and we walked past the front foyer where Nick was hanging out with his friends. Anyways, are we walked by I could totally smell something disgusting; turns out that it was some sort of drugs (cigarette or weed). And it was on Nick. I mean, I already knew that he did smoke and stuff, but it's a whole other element when I actually witness the stench on him. It actually broke my heart, I know its cliche and such; but I could feel my heart ripping out of my chest and totally going out to him. I wish that I was better friends with him so that I could go over and smack his head and say "What the hell are you doing?! You are going to kill yourself one day and that will leave a certain girl very depressed. Stop being an ass and start being an individual!" But of course, I just walked by and glanced at him once in a while, but he didn't notice. He never will.

This song was shown to me by my best friend, Sarah, and I will post the lyrics to it down below. Look at them.

Last Call by Lee Ann Womack

I recognized your number,

It's burned into my brain,

Felt my heart beating faster,

Every time it rang.

Some things never change,

That's why I didn't answer.

I bet you're in a bar,

Listening to a country song.

Glass of Johnny Walker Red,

With no one to take you home.

They're probably closing down,

Saying, "No more alcohol."

I bet you're in a bar

'Cause I'm always your last call.

I don't need to check that message.

I know what it says.

"Baby, I still love you,"

Don't mean nothing when there's whiskey on your breath.

That's the only love I get.

So if you're calling.

I bet you're in a bay

Listening to a cheatin' song

Glass of Johnny Walker Red

With no one to take you home

They're probably closing down

Saying, "No more alcohol"

I bet you're in a bar,

'Cause I'm always your last-

Call me crazy but

I think maybe

We've had our last call.

I bet you're in a bar.

It's always the same old song.

That Johnny Walker Red,

By now it's almost gone.

But baby, I won't be there

To catch you when you fall.

I bet you're in a bar

'Cause I'm always your last call.

Man, oh man, do I ever wish I was more confident sometimes; just so I could go and talk to him like a friend or something. Just to make conversation. And I also wish that I was more everything, beautiful, confident, funny, etc. then I think that he would like me, or at least look twice at me.

I'm stupid for thinking that though. Dang.

Sorry for being a downer today . . .

Current Quote: A heartbreak is a blessing from God. It's just his way of letting you realize he saved you from the wrong one. - Unknown

Current Song: Stupid Boy by Keith Urban

<3